Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
