Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
