You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
