So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
