Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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