we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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