We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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