Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
