doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
