If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize