Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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