I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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