Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize