Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
