she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
