the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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