Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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