the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
