I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
