I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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