This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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