R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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