that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
