all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
