i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
