I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
