you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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