I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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