O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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