if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My feet surprised me
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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