I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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