Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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