Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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