I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
