Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
