Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
