she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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