I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Boobs are out for the taking
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
