Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
