Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
