well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
