honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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