I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm bleeding and have questions
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
