i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
