If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
