We're like a lot better than the average bears
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
