remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
