I feel like I'm in dance class right now
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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