but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
