Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
