"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
