Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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